Overdue

I'm writing this post because I haven't posted in awhile, and not because I want to. Since my last post a lot has changed. A new DD came on our rig -- one no one got along with. He didn't speak to me for an entire week, which I was fine with because he's a jerk. I'm not sure if it was because I'm a girl and he just didn't have anything to say to me. Most likely, he just doesn't like MWD's (my position). Him and the night DD (who my previous entry was about) talk a lot behind people's back, especially when they think someone is incompetent. They thought both of my day hand's were bad at their jobs, so I was very excited when I found out I would be leaving Conway right before I was scheduled to take on the day hand position (because I know I am less experienced than the guys they thought we unqualified).

So I'm out of Arkansas after exactly 3 months. It came at exactly the right time too, because I was as close as I've ever been to wanting to quit. I had made a small error in assembling our "tool" which was caught before we programmed it. When we tried to program it (properly assembled), it wouldn't work and while troubleshooting with the people in town, my mistake was mentioned. Everyone agreed that my mistake was likely not to blame, but my mistake was still broadcasted to the office. I wouldn't have minded, except now people think I'm unable to do something I'd done correctly multiple times before. I felt like shit.

As I drove away from the rig for the last time, I called my boyfriend in tears because my day hand didn't feel comfortable signing my competency sheet in light of that event. My boyfriend told me I should quit, because I never say anything positive about my job. That made me feel worse. I really want to like my job. I want to be the type of person who travels and has a wild job and loves every minute of it. I wanted to have this blog where I document my life, treating this job as a sort of experiment where I chronicled this most amazing experience. When I tell people what I do, they're impressed and I want to fulfil their expectations and gush about how exciting it is.

That's why I haven't written in over a month. I just can't get it up at the moment. I was holding off on writing until I loved my job and had something inspiring to say, but I can't.